Nostalgia

As she appeared across the lawn out of nowhere, I stood there transfixed. She was a picture of beauty. A shadow fell on her face, making it impossible to decipher her expression. I kept wondering if she saw me. I was enraptured. What was it about her that made her so enchanting to everyone she met? She was like a magic spell - surreal, but potent. I could never completely understand her. She was an enigma to me.

How Ananya made inroads into my life and my heart in so less a time, I could never fathom. I would tell her everything I ever had on my mind; she would listen patiently to my talks. She was the eyes into my soul; she knew more of me than I knew myself. My earnest observation of her was a major source of my understanding of her thoughts and personality, as she'd never give out much on her own. I observed everything she did or said, for every action of hers had a reason behind it, every word of hers well-founded. We would talk endlessly on almost everything under the sun. We would agree on some points, argue on some other. But I would ultimately quit arguing, because one could almost never win over her. She always had the last word. Not that I ever complained. She broke into an innocent giggle every time I put in my guns. To beget even that little smile meant the world to me, and more.

She was a ray of morning sunshine on the horizon; a real delight to be with. There was an aura of happiness, wholesomeness and contentment about her that lured everybody into its grasp. She could turn all my worries into nothing, and amplify the joys manifold. There was an inexplicable look of satisfaction on her face – to me it seemed like that of knowing everything yet revealing little. She could always tell what I had on my mind, but would never make me uncomfortable with unnecessary prying and prodding. But surprisingly, more often than not, I'd find myself bound to tell her all my travails, as if she had a magnetic grip on my mind. She would understand everything I told her, and would follow it up with such careful and sound advice, as would make me feel like my problems never really were of any consequence. Such was her effect on me that it sometimes baffled me into believing she practiced black magic. But like I said, I never really understood her. I just revered her for all that she was.

Her eyes constantly lived in a dream. Her words went far deeper than they would appear to the listener’s mind. Her exquisite face was a brilliant cover for her true thoughts and feelings. But her clear hazel eyes revealed what her words never did. She always hid her pain and sorrows behind her perpetual smile and joyful demeanour. To anyone else, she would seem not to have a single unhappy bone in her body. But I saw through her layers. On normal days, she'd have a splendid countenance. There was a ring to her voice, a shine to her smile and a rhyme to her actions. She would sing and dance her way through work, and recount the day’s events to me with full spirit at the end of the day. On such days, I felt such a rush of happiness and contentment through my veins that I could die of it and still not mind. But she had her dark days too, and it took every last drop of patience in my body to get through those. She’d brood over every single thing, take offense on anything even remotely untoward, and in general present a picture of utter dissatisfaction with life, very unlike her true self. It was of such days that I was dead scared. She formed the very thread of my existence; I could never bear to see her out of sorts. I would try my best to pacify her, mellow down her moods, try to figure out her wishes and fulfil them as best as I could. Yet I feel I managed to do a very poor job of it in the end. It was a gargantuan task to assimilate her, yet totally unthinkable not having her as a part of my life. What would I ever do without her? I'd always shudder at the thought.

*

Sunrays seep in through the partially open window, falling in a slant on the little one sprawled on the floor, busy playing with her crayons. The sight reminds me of her mother's childlike love for new stationery. She walks up purposefully and thrusts her sketch book into my face, her hazel eyes revealing that 'look' she knows all too well I can never refuse to. Her earnest exuberance is infectious. I smile through moist eyes.

Ananya's absence is a void in my heart that time can only attempt to fill. She lit up every day of my life for as long as she breathed; twilight or dawn, she never left my side. She did not let me be alone even in her wake, leaving behind a tiny little bundle of joy to light up my days and warm my cold heart. The little one is a splitting image of her beautiful mother, and equally full of life and energy; I cannot look at her lovely face without pangs of nostalgia tugging at my heart. All of a sudden I'm back in that moment when I first saw her across the lawn. That was when I first felt love. And the feeling still survives.

I envelop our little angel in my arms and rock her to sleep.

~

[As some of my readers may have noticed, this is an edited, refurbished version of my earlier fiction piece Eyes to My Soul, the first in a series of five, but with a different plot and context. I submitted this version as my entry for a fiction story contest some months back, with the theme 'Nostalgia'. Thought of posting it here as well now!]

Book Review: English Bites! - Manish Gupta

It feels awkward to return to writing after more than four months and not have anything very insightful to share. I've been working just too hard and spending too less of a time on anything else, so the creative juices have almost stopped flowing. But I shall make a comeback - very soon.

Right now, I am reviewing a book that the author was so kind as to send across to me a long while back, and thankfully also has been very accommodating in letting me have my time in reading and reviewing it.

English Bites! My Fullproof English Learning Formula by Manish Gupta (a smooth-talking banker, in his own words) is not your run-of-the-mill fictional novel or a biography or an auto-biography. It's an honest attempt at making the English language more accessible and interesting to anyone who has difficulty learning it or who needs to brush up his/her English for competitive examinations like the GRE and GMAT. A latent function the book also very conveniently serves is of helping seasoned English speakers brush up their vocabulary and learn the etymologies of and relations between various words.

English Bites is primarily an attempt to make English learning an interesting and exciting exercise, and not something that one is compelled to do out of sheer need. Through his own life story - starting off from his schooling in the vernacular medium and gradually charting his years of painstaking effort at mastering the language - the author has embedded difficult and commonly misunderstood words throughout the narrative and mentioned their meanings and examples in the footnotes for easy reference of the readers. He has thus invented a fun way of helping those with the least interest or perceived aptitude for English, to start taking interest and find it more and more easy and do-able as they flip through the pages. He has written the book in the form of an account and thrown in many instances and anecdotes that amuse the reader and also drive home his point in many cases.

The author has touched upon almost all the techniques and tricks that can be used to get better at the language - Mnemonics, etymological approach, relating words to anecdotes and so on. Ever so often, suitable illustrations have been added to prep up the tale a bit. When you pick up the book and go through the first 40-50 pages, you might think it isn't going to be a read worth your time. I made the same preconceived judgment. It stems from the fact that the author is initially warming up the reader to the rationale and process behind the conception of the book. It can be a bit boring, agreed. But it gets really interesting a little farther into the book. My copy is actually full of pages that I've earmarked for giving another glance or two later.

The book is also a very interesting take on the idiosyncrasies and vagaries of the ever-elusive English language. He describes funny English tools, like Amphibiology (totally unrelated to amphibians or biology - it implies the ambiguous use of grammar) and a whole list of oxymorons used in everyday conversation. The author also frequently gives out English trivia that is great to know. For example, very few of us would have known that the word 'serendipity' is actually derived from 'Swaran Dweep', the Sanskrit name given to Sri Lanka upon its discovery.

Halfway into the book, I sadly realized that even I am not as much an expert at the language as I had so far imagined. Many of the words mentioned in the book and their varying usages quite befuddled me. But then it dawned upon me - most of the extra-difficult words are directed chiefly towards the CAT/GRE/GMAT/XAT aspirants and are of little, if any, use in everyday English conversations or the average written material, so I did not try hard to memorize any of the high-flying words that sounded alien. But many of the subjects touched upon in English Bites have enriched my understanding of the English language, as also my vocabulary, and general knowledge.

It is humanly impossible to be perfect in your first attempt at doing anything, writing being no exception, and there are indeed some areas where the book could have been better. The initial 50-60 pages could definitely use some revision to make them more appealing, for I'm convinced they could end up being a reason why people keep the book down, unfinished. There could also be a wider coverage of topics and types of words - although no one book can do enough justice to a language, especially with a vocabulary as vast as that of English. The first half of the book is slightly more interesting than the second, which could be boring for some. The narrating style could also be more informal and less professional in order to connect better with the targeted audience.

All in all, I'd give a 3 on 5 to English Bites! Published by Penguin Books, the book is priced at rupees 250. It is definitely a good pick for anyone interested in enriching their English vocabulary and verbal ability, though not so much for someone who's just starting out at learning it. It would be advisable to rather pick up a basic grammar book and work your way upwards.