Book Review: From Quetta to Delhi - Reena Nanda

"The lilting rhythms of Punjabi folk songs, the Siapewalli, and Naani wailing about her bad kismet caused by the chudail and dain. Partition changed the old traditions of Punjabiyat but in the pages of this book they come alive..."

Punjabiyat.

Have you heard this word before?

Is the modern tandoori-chicken-eating, whiskey-guzzling, perpetually jovial sardar your idea of Punjabi culture, Punjabiyat? Do you know the deep cultural history and the set of ethos and traditions that underlie this 21st century forever-happy, forever-loud community that is spread out not only across the country but the world?

There is much more to Punjabis than the casual hedonists they are portrayed as across media. Even if to know that alone - and to get a little peek into the beliefs and mores of this beautiful and diverse culture - you must read Reena Nanda's memoir, From Quetta to Delhi (A Partition Story).

When you wake up too early and decide to catch up on your reading with birds and trees for company. . . Finished reading this book by @bloomsburyindia today. It is the heartwarming story of the author's mother's growing-up years across the Indo-Pak border in early-20th century Quetta, her family's migration to Jhang after the 1935 earthquake, and their final migration to Delhi following Partition.

A post shared by Mahima Kohli (@mahimakohli) on Mar 27, 2018 at 1:32am PDT

I'm the child of a Partition-hit family. My interest in the subject was first piqued when I started reading Saadat Hasan Manto's Partition sketches back in 2015. I have read a lot of Partition literature since, about hatred, violence and loss, and about love, brotherhood and unity in the face of extreme adversity. I have listened, with goosebumps, to 70- and 80-something Partition survivors relating their stories of love, loss, and a longing for the lives they had led before the big crossover altered them forever.

Through all of this, the thing that has always been most striking to me is the syncretism that is so deeply entrenched in the culture and belief systems of the subcontinent. Sikh, Muslim, Hindu - their Gods and their religious practices may be different but they have forever inter-mingled and absorbed each other's beliefs and cultural practices into their own. And the author has brought it out really well in her book.

From Quetta to Delhi is the story of the author's mother, Shakunt, who was a little girl growing up in the 1920s in an affluent family of pragmatic, progressive men and religious, superstitious women, in an upscale multi-cultural neighbourhood of Quetta (Balochistan, now part of Pakistan). How the family, originally from Jhang, happened to settle in Quetta, and how they were forced to move back to Jhang, and eventually on to Delhi after the Partition forms the basic plot of the book.

The introduction and the first chapter of the book remain the most interesting parts of the story for me, for they paint a vivid picture of what Balochistan looked and felt like at the turn of the 20th century. The sights and sounds, the clothes, the urban landscape, and most of all, the people, their traditions and ways of living. It was like a whole new window opened up in my world, taking me back into another time in a place far, far away from where I was born, and yet familiar in so many ways. Though my grandparents don't belong to Balochistan, I know their cultural roots, even language, are very similar to what Reena Nanda has so poignantly described in From Quetta to Delhi. 

The plot is interwoven with a lot of insights into the mores and rather backward (even casteist) beliefs and practices of well-to-do upper-caste Punjabi families. She has also pointed out how the more educated men in the author's family countered those beliefs by inter-dining, forging lasting bonds with friends from other communities, and educating and empowering their daughters. I like the objective retelling of these dichotomies inherent to the Indian society, though at times I sensed an appeasement and justification underlining the author's depiction of these practices. The times we currently live in call for a brutally honest portrayal of age-old practices that have no place in the modern world. I'll admit I was left a bit disappointed.

The speed at which the plot moves also left a lot to be desired. There were times when I felt the story dragged on, and I found myself abandoning the book for several days at a time. It is possible that I may have been preoccupied with work at the moment, but I have often disregarded all work commitments for a book that forced me to - and this one certainly didn't.

From Quetta to Delhi is written in a simplistic style, and to me it seemed as if the author has yet to develop a unique style of her own. Given that it's non-fiction and a memoir, it could have been much more evocative and gripping (cue: Aanchal Malhotra's work on the Partition). But a worthy read for its many merits nevertheless. At 170 pages, it's a really short book and is best read in one go. Take it along on a journey, or read it on a Sunday afternoon with umpteen cups of chai/coffee, maybe?

One extraordinary thing that really struck me about From Quetta to Delhi? It may have been written simply, but the text has been proofread to the T. I didn't spot any errors (which is to say a lot, since I find SO MANY typos in even the best of books). And if you know me even a little, you'll know I am finicky about grammar and proofreading. This book was a delight on that count.

In a nutshell, a beautiful memoir that I have already recommended to a couple of my friends with an interest in Partition stories. I'll end my review with my favourite lines from the book. See if they strike an all-too-familiar chord?

~

"My family, and other West Punjabis, naturally considered their traumas and travails as unique. But in fact, they had joined the worldwide brotherhood of refugees. And they would not be the last. Future struggles for power and conflicts would continue to ruthlessly crush the ordinary people, who were helpless before their egomaniacal leaders. 'Refugee' would become the leitmotif not only of the twentieth century, but also of the twenty-first. In the anguished, hopeless faces of the Palestinians, Syrians, Kurds, and Yazidis, I see my grandparents and parents."

~

From Quetta to Delhi (A Partition Story) by Reena Nanda
Published 2018 by Bloomsbury India.
But it here.
Read all my book reviews here.

I said yes to a challenge and my world changed forever

Have you ever found yourself wondering how Edmund Hillary or Tenzing Norgay might have felt a few seconds before they conquered Everest?

I don't claim to have done anything remotely as momentous as they did. Of course. But I said yes to a challenge - I volunteered to do something totally uncharacteristic of me, something I always thought I wasn't cut out for - and I saw magic unfold. It changed my world, it changed the way I look at travel, and it changed my worldview forever. Most important, it changed the way I look at myself.

I have been travelling for some years now, and have experienced many a new culture, met many a stranger, and dealt with many a challenge on the move. But I recently came to the uncomfortable realisation that I've stayed within my comfort zone most of this time. I was strutting through new places, wonderful new experiences, and the company of fascinating strangers, wearing the thick coat of a hundred limitations and boundaries wrapped tightly around me.

I found that I had been travelling without really challenging myself. And I decided to change that. I decided to challenge all the notions I had about my physical limitations, and joined a group of friends and strangers on an out-and-out adventure trip to Uttarakhand. There, I stayed in a tent in below-zero-degree weather for two nights, embarking on the very first morning on an arduous trek of 5 kilometres through snow, ice and slippery slopes, up to Tungnath Temple.

I had so many misgivings! I was afraid I would slip and fall down the snow slopes. I was afraid I would twist my ankle or have a hard fall on ice. I was afraid I would suffer from breathlessness (there's precedent) and would have to stop halfway and return to camp. There was just so much I thought could go wrong. But I steeled myself, and I said 'yes' to the spirit of adventure. And then magic happened.

I made it to the top - in one piece, with no injuries and no regrets - and then came that moment, as I approached the temple at the end of the trail, when I began to understand how Hillary and Norgay must have felt.

I left liberated - from my own thought-up boundaries and from all those years of body-shaming and the constant reminders of my physical shortcomings. I felt free of my physical and psychological limitations. All of a sudden I knew I could do this. If I could climb a mountain, I could very well swim the ocean or jump off of a cliff. I felt an energy course through my body. I felt limitless.

Riding on that adrenaline rush, I went on to try my hand at river rafting on the same trip (and can proudly claim I rafted through 'The Wall', known as the most challenging rapid on the Rishikesh rafting circuit). I also went alpine skiing and trekked uphill through the forest in Auli a couple of days after Tungnath. On the climb downhill, I got talking to my ski instructor, Pavan, and discovered a new perspective on the Himalayan ecology and the different ways in which global warming is affecting it, as also the local economy and people's lives. We talked about our differing experiences of the Himalayas and of Delhi, where he had worked for 5 years, and through him, I also learned the local sentiment regarding tourists. Guess what I found? They don't hate us! As long as we are responsible, respectful, and open to the beauty and serenity of the mountains and nature, they love us and are indeed thankful for our presence. 😄

I said yes to rafting, and to jumping into the water (I don't know how to swim!)

Me and my 'Blizzard' skis.

Through all of this, I discovered one thing.

When you are open-minded and say yes to new experiences and challenges, you unveil whole new sides to the world and to yourself. With every new peak you conquer, every new language you learn, and every new culture you experience, you become a better version of yourself. And you begin to love the world a little more. The more of the world you'll see, believe me, the more you will WANT TO see. It's a never-ending circle, but a virtuous one for sure. Tungnath may have been an easy trek, but it felt like a personal Everest to me. And now that I have conquered it, I want to do more, see more, climb more, and travel ever more. Do I sound insane? But aren't the maddest people also often the most sorted and sane?

This trip, and all the discoveries I made with it, have spurred me on to try more adventure, turn more strangers into friends, and explore newer pastures. In fact I am already planning my next trip - SOLO this time. So much more discovery in the offing, I can't wait!

If you want travel inspiration, check out my YouTube channel. Don't forget to Subscribe if you like what you see! I'm new at vlogging and would love and appreciate all your support. 

As always, keep travelling the world and spreading the love! 💚

******

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5 ways to deal with everyday stress like a boss

You live a life full of stress. It's time you admitted it (if you don't know it already).

Irrespective of whether you're a student, a professional in a corporate job, a stay-at-home parent, or a freelancer or full-time travel blogger. Where there is responsibility of any kind, where there is money to be made or bills to be paid, there is bound to be some kind of stress.

Personally, I never thought I worry. I always thought of myself as tension-free, carefree, a zen sort of a person. I always take life as it comes (mostly), I prefer not to think too far ahead (because it isn’t going to pan out right anyway), and I love my peace of mind too much to riddle it with worry.

But guess what? Lately I’ve discovered I’m a house of stress.

I don’t worry that often, although I do tend to overthink a lot. But what I do suffer from is mental exhaustion. I have my feet in too many boats, it seems. I have a full-time job that to others may seen ‘chill’ and the very opposite of stressful, but it’s become tiring with time. In the little free time I have left in the evenings, I have freelance assignments to finish – they tend to crop up at any time – and social media appearances to keep up. And then there’s family, the household, and twenty different things I have to do for them or for the household on the weekends.

To compound matters, I haven’t been of sound health in a few years and battle with a chronic ankle sprain that necessitates care and precaution every now and then. But every time I think I should take a break for a day or two, rest my body and mind, all of a sudden there will be a wedding in the family or a radio assignment or a travel opportunity that I cannot give a miss. ‘Rest’ as a concept has become alien to me. So, without actually worrying too much, I have still managed to become a walking picture of mental stress, physical exhaustion and repulsion to any kind of social activity that involves people or going out or dressing up.

I’m tired. Period.

Mental exhaustion also compounds my existing depressive tendencies to drain all of my energy and willpower. There are periods when I don’t feel like doing anything - absolutely anything - and nothing can make me feel any differently. I feel lost, sunk, hopeless, and aimless. And it shows in my daily output – I don’t blog for weeks at a time, I don’t write or create anything, I feel each day stretch out in front of me, empty, and I don’t smile from my eyes. If you ask me what’s wrong, and if I do decide to answer honestly, all you'll get out of me is, “I feel lost". 

Does any of this sound relatable to you? Do you feel the same, sometimes, perhaps all the time? Do you struggle with exhaustion on a regular basis? You may be stressed without knowing it. And if you didn’t accept it and do something to manage it in time, you may unwittingly slide into depression and/or anxiety. 

After some brainstorming, some trial and error, and lots of practice, I have found 5 sureshot ways to deal with everyday stress like a total boss. They work - take my word for it. Sharing them here with the hope that they will help you in managing your stress levels like they have helped me.

1. Build a support system and confide in them

You might have heard the term "tribe" being thrown around a lot lately and might even have wondered what the big deal about having a 'tribe' was. Nothing much really, except that everyone should have one. Simply put, your tribe is a close circle of people who care for you like family and will always look out for you. For most of my life, I didn't have any such friends, and only I know how hard it was for me growing up. It took me 2 decades to fully realise the importance of fostering relationships and keeping people close. But once I knew it, I worked on coming out of my shell and building my own tribe of loyal confidantes. Now I have a 'tribe' (you know who you are), and my life is abundant with positivity, support and love. In my worst moments, I have the support and love I need to pick myself up again and tread on. You need to learn to foster bonds with people you trust. Step out of your comfort zone and make conscious efforts to keep your confidantes close. They will be there for you on days when you need an ear to vent out to, a shoulder to cry on, or advice on the smallest and biggest of things. And that will make living a little bit easier.

2. Take up a hobby or physical activity and follow it with a vengeance

This one's a no-brainer! Discipline and productivity create a sense of order and stability in life. All you need to do is find out something that interests you. It could be a sport you've played as a kid or a hobby you abandoned somewhere down the line. It could be a craft, a musical instrument you've always wanted to learn, or a talent you want to cultivate. I would recommend taking up something out of your comfort zone, for it will push you into new arenas and help build confidence. But don't pick something entirely out of your comfort zone, or you may end up abandoning the activity within days or weeks! Next, find a reason to keep yourself inspired. Set weekly and monthly goals and practise to get better. In addition to beating stress, who knows, it might become a whole new passion for you. Or, if you're really lucky, an alternative career option too. 😁

3. Take up exercise of some kind – any kind

The doctor says it, the counsellor says it, and the sixty-something uncle sitting on the park bench will say it - exercise is super important, not just for the body but the mind as well. Physical exercise releases all the happy hormones you need to help reduce stress and boost your mood. Exercise is also known to help you sleep better and stay energetic throughout the day. If you're already an active person, I admire you for it. But if you're a lazy bum by nature, of if you're fit-looking or "thin" and therefore think you don't need to exercise, you need to rethink. Exercise is essential for everyone - fat, slim, old, young, teen - everyone needs to move their muscles in order to improve body function, mental capacity, and overall immunity and health. It is generally accepted that walking or moderate exercise for half an hour every day, 5 days a week is sufficient physical workout for your body. If you want to achieve specific goals, like weight loss or muscle toning or learning a sport like swimming or cycling, more power to you! Get out of bed and get at it! You'll see definite results in your physical and mental well-being within a few days, I guarantee.

4. Regulate your sleep cycle to feel more active

I know I sound like your mom when I say this (I definitely sound like my own mother), but it's true. Irregular and erratic sleep is a major reason for most mental health problems. I know sleeping early and waking up early is an insurmountable task for most millenials. Sleeping for an adequate number of hours every night is another uphill task. There's so much to see, so much to do... I know, I know! I am in the same boat as you. If there's one thing I've struggled with for a decade now, it is sleep discipline. As far back as I can remember, I've been a night person, even insomniac at times. It seemed kinda cool back then. It doesn't anymore, because I've come to realise how negative an effect staying up late nights has had on my body. Believe me, you cannot give yourself a better gift than that of sleep discipline. Learn to manage your time better and fit in all your activities and work commitments within the day so that you can hit the bed by 11 or 12 at best. Sleep for 7 to 9 hours, according to your body's need, and I guarantee you will wake up energetic, happy, and with an entire day stretched out in front of you to achieve everything on your list. It's really that easy to kiss stress goodbye!

5. Learn to say NO

This one's a tough cookie, and came as my biggest personal Eureka moment. You need to practise saying no to people and things that are a drain on your time, energy, or positivity. Haven't we all been in situations we don't want to be in yet feel like we can't wriggle out of? An unplanned social activity. A late-night chat session with a friend. A drinking and dancing spree about town. Things that you do not want to indulge in at the moment or plans that crop up unceremoniously and eat away at your 'me' time or exercise time or sleep time. These social commitments are invisible monsters that keep growing until you realise, all of a sudden, that you're behind on your work commitments, haven't been sleeping well, haven't been exercising or practising your hobby, and feel listless and low on energy. And most often, you won't even understand how you ended up in that situation! In my opinion, there's a single, simple solution to this dilemma: prioritise. Decide what is most important to you, and discard all other plans. If your friends are supportive of your well-being, they will understand and give you space. If they don't, they aren't really your friends, are they?

I have been practising these tips for some months now, and the results are astounding. I am happier than ever (though I do have my dark moments, but they pass). I am getting more work done, laying down foundations for my future plans, and paying special attention to my health, fitness and nutrition. I've lost some weight (or so they tell me), gained a set of friends I absolutely trust, and feel like a total boss lady on a daily basis. Does it get any better?

It's time you dealt with the multi-headed monster called stress too!

I would love to know if you decide to take up any or all of these tips, and if you see any results. Let me know in the comments if you want me to write in detail about HOW TO practise one or more of the tips I've shared above to deal with stress and anxiety. I'd love to share my personal experiences if they can be of help. 😊

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